All Alone With My Newborn Baby


I had planned to have a natural birth at a birth center but things didn’t turn out that way. My son was born via emergency cesarean and my world was turned upside down.

My mother had a flight booked for the first week in January to be at the birth, but my son came two weeks early. He was born on the 20th of December. My mom changed her flight to arrive as soon as she could. She flew out on Christmas day. My parents and siblings celebrated Christmas on the 24th together so my Mom could fly out the next day. I felt so loved by all of them for rearranging their holiday plans just for me.

My husband also had two weeks off work to spend adjusting to our new life as a family of three.

I remember how relieved I was when my mother arrived and said to me: “I am here to be your woman servant. Let me do anything and everything that you need help with.” She made me breakfast, did laundry, kept the house tidy, comforted me, listened to me, and was a shoulder to cry on. She helped me emotionally cope with the grief and disappointment I was dealing with about the birth experience.  She rocked my baby to sleep while I took a shower, she sang to him, she swaddled him, she held him any time I needed her to and so much more.

And in a blink of an eye 10 days passed by and it was time for her to go back to her normal life, and time for my husband to return to work.

I will never forget the moment my mom left and how scared I felt. I stood on the balcony holding my tiny newborn and watched as she got in her car and drove away.  I thought to myself: “How am I going to manage on my own all alone with this baby? It’s just me. This is it.”

I felt a huge sense of responsibility and was afraid that I just wasn’t going to be able to cope.  I was physically recovering from major abdominal surgery. I had 17 staples in my tummy. It hurt to laugh or use my abdominal muscles at all.

I had no other family near me. My mother in law was judgmental and pushed her unwanted parenting opinions on me and she really wasn’t available much anyway.

Learning to manage alone was hard as a first time mom. The baby required nearly all of my attention all the time. It felt like all I had time to do was feed the baby, change the baby, hold the baby, rock the baby, burp the baby, and repeat. I distinctly remember one day rushing to get into the shower while my son was finally asleep in his crib only to have him wake up crying a few minutes later. I still had shampoo in my hair and felt so stressed to hurry up and return back to caring for the baby. “Will I ever be able to have a normal life again? How do people do this?”

I needed a postpartum doula.

A trained, experienced consultant and assistant to support and help you transition to life as a new parent who focuses on your comfort, physical and emotional needs.

I made it through this phase but it was not easy. A postpartum doula would have taken away the stress and worry. A postpartum doula would have made my transition smooth and more satisfying.

At Buddha Belly we are happy to provide postpartum support to families that have welcomed a new baby. Our team of highly trained, experienced postpartum doulas, are also certified lactation counselors and each has a nurturing and compassionate spirit. We know you are capable of toughing it out alone. But wouldn’t it be nice to have some reliable help? Wouldn’t it be good to have a doula looking after you so that you could focus on your new baby stress-free? Wouldn’t it be helpful to have somebody to consult with that believes in you and does not judge your parenting choices? That is exactly what our postpartum doulas do.

Let us be there for you when you need it the most.

About Christie Collbran

Christie believes in helping women recognize their own inner wisdom, strength and power. Having served as President of the Tampa Bay Birth Network for six years and with ten years serving families as a birth doula, she has a reputation for leadership, dedication and compassion. A childbirth educator, certified lactation counselor as well as a certified doula, she makes a point of ensuring mothers and their partners understand all their birthing options and what to expect on their journey.> keep reading

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