My mother was a hippie. She gave birth to all of her children at home with a home-visiting doctor. Her experience influenced my views of childbirth and how I wanted to birth my babies. Once I was pregnant I did everything I thought was right. I took a 12-week series of Bradley Method Natural Childbirth Classes. I hired an experienced midwife that came highly recommended. I read lots of pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding books.
And — in labor we found out that my baby was breech (feet first) and I needed a cesarean in the hospital. It wasn’t what I had planned or hoped for. I felt great sadness, shame and guilt.
Fast forward ten years, two more pregnancies, one ending in a 2nd trimester miscarriage, one in a vaginal birth with my baby born at home (VBAC), the highs and the lows of those three different personal experiences, and the many births I attended as a doula – and I can undoubtedly proclaim that there is no right way to do this.
As parents we have to make choices and decisions related to the care of our children on a regular basis. Before they are even born we are making decisions that will affect them. We compare and judge ourselves harshly.
But let’s not forget, we are all doing the best we can in the moment.
We don’t have control over the cards we are dealt. It is wise to remain flexible. I’m here to tell you that you are doing a great job!
What strength it takes to go through major abdominal surgery to bring your baby into this world. If you and your baby are safest with a cesarean for your baby’s birth – you should do it.
Your family depends on you. Your emotional state matters. If you believe your best plan is to have an epidural helping you stay relaxed and calm – you should do it. Go you!
If having your baby in a birth center with midwives feels right to you – you should do it!
If a home birth in a tub of water is where you’re at – you should do it. Get it girl!
Consult your care provider on medical matters.
We believe in you.