Why Infants Cry and How to Soothe Them
Oh, a crying infant…
There’s nothing quite as heartbreaking.
Or overwhelming.
But… remember…
Your baby doesn’t have very many ways to communicate yet. If something is wrong…
Cue the tears.
While it is part of the process, we know you want to find a way to make sure your baby is comfortable and not crying.
It might be easier to think about crying as a way for your baby to connect with you.
Through their crying, they are expressing a need…
And you are their ultimate need provider.
What a gift.
So, as your little human’s main source of comfort, it will be helpful to know the reasons why your infant may be crying.
Sometimes, it can be quite a riddle, but don’t worry, you’re not alone in this.
So, Why is My Infant Crying?
There are many reasons why your baby could be crying. Let’s dive into a few.
Reason #1 – Hunger
Crying is a “late” hunger cue.
Why is that?
Because babies give you early hunger cues before they start crying.
Typically, when a baby is hungry, they will…
- Stick out their tongue
- Smack their lips
- Chew or suck on their hand
- Turn their head from side-to-side
- Fidget and squirm
- Then… cry
“Hungry” cries usually come in long, low-pitched bursts that grow in intensity over time. The pauses in between each cry get shorter and shorter.
It’s best not to let your baby get too worked up. They can become red in the face and swallow air. If they reach this point, it can be difficult for them to calm down and take a bottle or breast.
So, just keep in mind the early hunger cues before a baby starts crying.
Reason #2 – Sleepy/Overtired
When babies are sleepy, they’ll cry about that too.
Adults have the ability to understand they are sleepy and lie down to go to sleep. Babies have not mastered this skill yet!
Here’s why:
A baby doesn’t develop a circadian rhythm (their internal clock) until about 4 months of age. This can cause their sleeping patterns to be erratic and they may need help going to sleep when they are tired. Just like the rest of us they get cranky.
So, this can result in crying.
Keeping a flexible, yet consistent nap and bedtime schedule will help you here.
Reason #3 – Diaper Change
Many babies feel uncomfortable when their diapers are wet or soiled.
So, when you notice your sweet babe in need of a change, make sure to do so as soon as possible.
A newborn baby will typically need to be changed once every 2 hours, and older babies about once every 3 to 4 hours. Doing this will help prevent diaper rash (which would cause more crying and discomfort).
Reason #4 -Time To Burp
Sometimes, babies just need a good burp.
The best time to burp a baby is immediately after feeding. Sometimes, you can burp your baby in the middle of a feed too.
Burping helps…
- relieve pressure in your little one’s tummy
- release air bubbles
- create longer stretches of sleep
Each baby is different, so it may take some time for you to figure out what works for your baby.
Reason #5 – Gas/Tummy Issues
Because baby bellies are not fully developed yet, they tend to have more gas than older children and adults.
Their bodies are learning how to pass gas…
And sometimes they need a little extra help.
Here are a few ways you can help relieve gas and get your baby to a happy state again:
- Try more tummy time
- Do the colic carry
- Try some baby bicycles
- Gas drops (discuss with your pediatrician first)
- Paced bottle feeding
You can read more about each of these suggestions here.
Reason #6 – Colic
Colic is…
When a healthy infant cries for more than three hours a day, three days a week, for more than 3 weeks in a row.
It is frequent, prolonged intense crying or fussiness in a healthy baby. It can be particularly frustrating for parents because your baby is upset for no apparent reason and no amount of consoling seems to bring relief.
We don’t exactly know why some babies have colic and others don’t…
But rest assured if your baby has colic…
You’re not doing anything wrong.
It can be hard to endure but know that it will not last forever.
Read more about colic here.
Reason #7 – Being Too Hot or Too Cold
If your baby is fussy because of the temperature, there are signs that you can look for.
Signs your baby is too hot are:
- sweaty on the nape of the neck
- flushed or clammy skin
- damp hair
- heat rash
For signs that your baby is cold, check their ears, face and tummy to feel their temperature. Your baby may even shiver if they are too cold.
It’s recommended that the best temperature for babies is between 68 and 72 degrees Fahrenheit.
Babies usually feel comfortable at the same room temperature as adults do. Sometimes your baby will need an extra layer, but you should dress your baby the same way that you dress yourself: not too hot and not too cold.
Reason #8 – Sensory Overload
Do you ever feel overwhelmed with loud noise or activity around you?
Babies can feel that way too.
Sometimes, babies need to take a break from all the commotion and stimulation. So, if you’re at a loud gathering or social event, you may want to find a quiet room for you and your baby.
New people, new faces…
It can all be a bit much for those tiny humans.
Give them some grace and take a break.
Reason #9 – Boredom or Loneliness
On the flip side to overstimulation, babies can get bored and feel lonely.
If your baby is bored they might show other signs as well including: yawning, fussiness and squirming.
Things you can do to help relieve their boredom:
- Change their scenery: go outside, take a walk, move into a different room.
- Engage their senses: sing a lullaby, play some music, stroke their head softly.
- Add something new to their routine: a ride in the stroller, read a colorful book.
When you attend to your baby empathically and quickly this helps them learn to be calm instead of agitated or aggravated. Comfort and care is the cure for loneliness. This is why we hold our babies or wear them close.
Just as adults need hugs and affection for survival, babies are the same. A warm cuddle with a loving parent will make them feel secure and happy. Your baby has spent nine months inside the womb and you are still home to them.
Reason #10 – Teething
By about 4 months…
Your baby’s first teeth will likely start to come in.
With it may come some discomfort for your baby. They only know the feeling of gums in their mouth…
And now they need to deal with their sharp, little teeth breaking through their gums.
Ouch!
Your baby will be sore, and potentially more fussy.
Here are a few ways you can relieve their teething gums and decrease crying:
- Chilled or frozen teethers
- Offer a cotton bib or washcloth
- Silicone teether toys
- Tylenol (discuss with your pediatrician first)
Reason #11 – Feeling Sick
Babies are even more susceptible to getting sick than adults are because their immune systems are immature, especially if your baby goes to a daycare or other caregiver.
So, here’s our advice to soothe a sick baby:
- Extra snuggles
- Plenty of feedings (for extra hydration)
- Provide opportunities for extra sleep
- See your pediatrician as needed
Your baby is going to need extra care and attention while they’re sick. It’s as simple as that!
Soothing Techniques that Work – The 5 S’s
Now that we covered why your baby is crying, let’s dive into how you can help them.
A tried and true baby soothing technique is using the 5 S’s.
Swaddle
What does it mean to swaddle a baby?
Basically, you’re turning them into a baby burrito.
(Can you think of anything cuter?)
Swaddling is helpful because it reminds babies of their comfortable first home—your womb. That’s why swaddling is one of the top ways to calm your crying infant.
You can use a variety of techniques to swaddle a baby.
The classic way is to use a swaddle blanket and follow these steps:
- Fold the swaddle blanket into a diamond-shape
- Fold the top corner down
- Place baby on back with shoulders right below the fold
- Place baby’s right arm along their body
- Pull the fabric over the baby’s chest and tuck it under
- Tuck the bottom point into the fabric right below the baby’s head
- Place baby’s left arm to their side and fold the remaining fabric over
- Tuck the fabric behind them
Watch this quick video for a visual demonstration.
Remember that your baby may fight the swaddle at first, which is normal. But, then they will most likely settle down and feel secure, safe and sleep better. Babies should only be swaddled during fussing and sleep. You should not use swaddling as a soothing technique once your baby can roll over.
Tip: Let your partner learn how to and be involved with swaddling. You can both practice with a stuffed animal or doll. Partners gain a sense of pride and confidence when they can execute an impeccable swaddle and see the results with a calmer, relaxed baby.
Some parents like traditional swaddle blankets, while others like sleep sacks.
Here are a few options to choose from:
- Momcozy muslin swaddle blankets
- LifeTree muslin swaddle blankets
- The Ollie swaddle
- Halo sleepsack swaddle
- Zipadee Zip sleep sack
Try a few out and see what works best for you and your baby.
Side or stomach position
Holding your baby in a side or stomach position can soothe them.
Here are a few options:
- Lay them over your shoulder and support their head
- Place them belly-down across your forearm
- Have skin-to-skin contact with your baby on your chest while you sit or lay down
Extra note: If your baby falls asleep in this position, either continue to hold them or put them down to sleep on their back. Don’t place them belly-down to sleep. Baby’s should be put on their back to sleep for safety.
Shushing or sound machine
Babies need complete silence to fall asleep, right?
Wrong!
In fact, usually, babies love to have muffled shushing sounds or white noise to fall asleep.
Why?
It reminds them of you.
Keep in mind, that when you were pregnant, your baby heard the following things:
- The circulation of your blood
- The pumping of your heart
- Your repetitive breathing
- The soft rumble of daily activities
It was anything but quiet in the womb, even at night.
So, it makes sense that your baby prefers noise to silence.
When your baby is crying, making shushing sounds in their ear or turning on a sound machine can help soothe them. Feel free to turn the volume up, your shushing can be loud and constant.
Here are a few great sound machine choices:
- Hatch Nest sound machine
- Momcozy travel sound machine
- Homedics sound machine
- Hatch Rest Go travel sound machine
Swinging
Movement is an excellent way to soothe a baby.
You can accomplish it in many ways.
Here are a few tips:
- Make sure to support your baby’s head and neck
- Start with a small back-and-forth motion
- Add a small bounce if it helps
- If your baby is very upset, you can make the motions longer and faster
If your arms need a rest, you can place your baby in a swing as well. There are many safe, helpful options out there. However, make sure your baby is safely strapped in and never left unattended in the swing.
Here are a few safe swing/bouncer choices:
Please note: Swinging a baby should not turn into shaking a baby. Make sure your movements are still soft and gentle even if they are faster movements.
Suck
The last of the S’s is suck.
Babies are often soothed by sucking on something. Why?
Well, sucking is one of the first skills your baby learned inside the womb.
A recent study supports that babies use “non-nutritive” sucking for soothing. This means a baby doesn’t need to be ingesting milk to be soothed.
This is exactly why crying infants are often soothed with a pacifier or the breast without eating.
Babies that don’t like pacifiers may like to suck on their fingers or you can offer them your clean pinkie.
Some parents are wary of using pacifiers as they don’t want their child to form a bad habit that will be hard to break in the future. However, using a pacifier is an easier habit to break than thumb-sucking. (I know, it’s hard to believe!)
So, if your little one finds a pacifier soothing, you may feel this is a good tool for your family.
If you do go the pacifier route…
Here are a few great pacifier choices:
When You’ve Reached Your Limit
I want you to know…
If you’ve reached your limit (all of us have them)…
It is okay to give your crying infant to another caregiver or set them down in a safe place (such as their crib or bassinet) to give yourself a few minutes to calm down, reset, and return to your baby.
Not knowing what is causing your baby to cry can be extremely taxing for you mentally and emotionally.
You can care for your baby best when you can be your best self. Part of that is understanding your limits.
Lean in to your support team.
Also, you can always reach out to us. Our postpartum doulas are here for you!
Check out: Interview with an Overnight Newborn Care Specialist.
